Porcelain Doll
by Risa the Forsaken
Summary: Set back in Great Britain. Yumi will have to make the biggest choice of her life - or will she be forced into picking the wrong one? Will work on it when I can. Read and review, please! Ideas are welcome and appreciated. T for later possible outcomes.
1. The Match is Lit

It was a rainy, but bright, night. An adolescent girl lay in bed, staring out her locked chamber window. Judging by the rich silk fabric of her nightdress, she was obviously a girl of high class, a respectable woman of the ton. Even though it was so late into the night, the girl was awake, and had dark circles under her eyes, looking like great purple bruises. Her short black hair fell to her shoulders, swaying slightly in the light breeze. In the pale moonlight, she was like a porcelain doll; she was very beautiful, but somehow, so frail, so breakable, so vulnerable. How could someone so seemingly innocent look like she was about to fall apart at any second?

Little did the girl of only age seventeen know, she was being watched. Hungry, lustful eyes, which constantly followed her in the daylight, were watching her every move. Every yawn; every breath; every stretch. Each was naked to his gaze. The man, not but a year older, was deeply infatuated with the girl. He was hypnotized by the way she moved, solitary, at the large social gatherings. He always wondered how such a wonderful girl like her could be alone at any time; her grace and elegance were clearly evident. But the man threw this detail aside; it was of little importance to him. What was important, however, was how he was to collect his little doll, and keep her to him.

Not only would he be satisfied by her company, knowing that she belonged only to him, he was soon to become of age for marriage. He was determined to make this girl his bride. The man's advisers had told him of what would happen if he did not marry and bear an heir to his business within the next two years: the estate and branch of casinos his deceased father had left him would be handed over to the brother, as dictated in the father's will. The man deeply _loathed _his brother, and wished for him nothing more than the upmost suffering. Constantly, over the years of their lives, the two had always fought over everything, and neither could seem to overcome the other. Duels, bets, women, the brothers were equal matches for each other. But the man was revolted to call the other his brother, let alone his _rival._ He shuddered at the thought. No, this time, he would soon finally best his greatest enemy.

As the girl turned her head in his direction, the man had to shift to the edge of the balcony, out of her line of vision. She thought she had heard the shuffling of movement, but she thought it was most likely the insomnia taking hold of her mind. The girl sighed, and lied back down upon her cotton bed sheets, soon drifting off into a dream filled with visions of a man, his face covered in shadow, pulling her from a dark and gloomy room. As these images flooded her mind with curiosity, she did not awaken as the man easily picked the window's lock and slid past it from the balcony into the room. He then walked to her bed side.

He caressed her cheek lovingly, staring at her face, glowing in the light from the high moon, his eyes full of an obsession. He placed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll return soon, my dear Yumi," his voice barely more than a whisper. Lord William then slid down the railing of her balcony, paying little mind to the rain steadily falling. He had his goal set in mind, and was ready to seize any opportunity that would lead him to achieving it.

Even though William had spoken so quietly, nearly inaudible, Yumi's dreams were disturbed of a different man, pulling her back and away from the other's warm presence. A dagger was sent through the first man's chest, and he fell to the ground. The man's attacker knelt in front of her, stroked her cheek and neck, and spoke in his soft voice, laced with malice, "I'll return soon, my dear Yumi." The image dissolved, and her room became familiar. Awoken with a scream, her arms reached out in front of her, the girl silenced herself quickly and stared at her hands, which, a few moments ago, had been spattered with the unknown man's blood.

She didn't realize that her window stood wide open.


	2. Straight to Heart

Yumi awoke days later from that night's incident to knocking on her chamber doors. The room was flooded with sunlight. Her personal maid, Sarah, who was barely older than Yumi herself and a bit peaky, walked into the room, with a lilac envelope in her frail looking hands. "My lady, you have an invitation to another Lord's ball tomorrow night. His name is William Dunbar; if you decide to attend, I'll prepare your gown and attire for you.." She walked over and placed the invitation on the spindle-legged table next to the bed.

Yumi, still dazed from her sleep, still having the same dark marks under her eyes, simply nodded, and dismissed her maid from the room. She sat up in bed, watching the pale sky blankly. After all the years since she had begun to recognize the world, she had trained herself to empty her mind. She would not cry; she would not feel. No matter how strongly she felt she didn't belong in this world, no matter how she wished she could live a different life, she wouldn't show signs of weakness, to herself or others. Not only would she felt she had given up the battle, others would most certainly treat her as an outcast. Although she already felt like such, she could not let her life take a turn like that. She knew better.

Being born into the highest class of society, besides royalty, Yumi Ishiyama was a respected woman. She hated herself and this whole place, the place she was forced to call _home_ for her entire life. She could not stand it here; she wanted to be free. Before birth, high expectations had been set for her: to become, and remain, a proper and perfect young woman, rise into a position in the ton, and be seen as a model of England's high class society.

Yumi didn't want any part of this life, and she wanted to leave. She wanted a life without any of this mess. She didn't want the rules, the regulations, the life chosen and written out for her. Her heart was constantly in despair, only showing on the inside, however. No one knew of her deepest thoughts and hatred. She wished with all her being that she had never made that promise to her dying mother that she would do all in her power to follow the family traditions. What a fool she had been when she had let her heart become soft. However, she was a woman of her word, one of the only things she respected herself for.

Having no plan of what to do for the future, she continued her pitiful existence, masking it all with her grace and elegance easily. Yumi was disgusted with herself that she put up with this type of life, and looked a part of it, but tried her best to play the role. A well-experienced actress, Yumi played her part well, and blended in perfectly with society.

For months now, Yumi had been having dreams of a man rescuing her, rescuing her from this life she has been contained to. Dreaming of him taking her away from what she has always considered a living hell; a nightmare. She knew at once that she was in love with the man from her dreams, whether he was real or not. At least he was someone who seemed to care for her; here, in her caged life, she had no one. No one to call friend, no one to call family, no one to call love. Her life after her parents' deaths was dark and solitary. Even with Sarah around all the time, everything was still wrong. Sarah was not a parent or a friend; she was simply someone who has been paid to take care of the Ishiyama family for a living. She could not provide the comfort Yumi needed, the companionship she so desired. Couldn't pull her up from this dark abyss that was called her life, which she was sinking deeper and deeper into with each passing and painful second.

Yumi lied back down on her silk covers, staring at the opposite wall. She just wanted to stay here and dream, forever. She had no desire to return to reality, ever again, even though she knew she would eventually have to. In reality, everything was made up of faded colors, slowly turning paler and paler with each pressing moment. Only a small sliver of hope kept her heart beating, kept her from slipping away. Hope that, one day, everything would turn bright and beautiful again, that she would finally be truly happy. _Her_ world was full of hope; it was happy and bright. She had people that cared for her. People who she could laugh and cry with. It was a perfect world that Yumi would give anything to turn into reality, and make this nightmare a thing of the past.

The little hope that remained in her heart thinned every day, becoming more and more transparent. The only way she could keep herself from falling apart was to remain indifferent, to try to block out her emotions. At the social gatherings she would force herself to attend, she kept a plastic smile that never quite reached her eyes. No one knew; no one had any reason to question; no one had any reason to care. Every day, she told lies, and somehow she made it through, day after day after painful day. Sometimes, she would even half- fool herself into becoming dreamily happy. But then she would crash back to reality and fall to pieces. This happened when she was dancing, the only thing that made her feel even remotely alive.

Yumi loved dancing; it was something that lifted her into her world of hope. It took her out of her miserable life as she danced solitarily across ballroom floors, or her chamber floor. It lifted her up into the sky as she imagined one person, who she now thought of as the man from her dreams, dancing with her, keeping her farther and farther from the pain of her everyday life. Yumi imagined being free at last, free with someone who she could care for. Free from this manor; free from England; free from the world she was forced to be a part of. If only, if only she knew who this wonderful man was. Once she found this man from her dreams, she knew she could find herself.

As she picked up the invitation Sarah had left on her bedside table and read it, slowly twirling across the floor, she didn't know she was sealing her fate and bringing happiness, but immense agony as well.

_**Yea, I know... short. I really don't have many ideas on how to spread this out very far, but I'll keep practicing. Please read and review, suggestions for sub-plots are welcome and appreciated.**_


	3. I Love You

Yumi awoke the next morning. She looked across her room and saw a beautiful gown. However, she didn't acknowledge the beauty of it.

_None of these pretty dresses satisfy me._

Her mind was full of yet more crushed hope, as she had awoken from yet another dream.

A new factor from her dream surprised her. In her dream, Yumi had called out the man's name as he bled at her feet.

_Ulrich! Ulrich!_

She was puzzled about this. A thought through her mind. Even if she wasn't energetic or hopeful, she still knew this single fact.

_I'll find you somehow._

Learning the man's name had brought newfound hope into Yumi's heart, even if it was a mere glimpse. This, she was grateful for.

A knock came at her door. Her maid, Sarah, walked in.\

"You are requested to come to Madame Dufont's luncheon, if you do recall, mistriss."

. . .

Oh, how daily life bored Yumi. Bored her to no end.

She sat in a circle of women. The others were talking of how a Miss so-and-so had divorced her husband after an affair with another man was discovered.

_Have they nothing better to discuss?_

Yumi grew tired of the incessant gossip and set her tea and saucer down on the coffee table. She quickly put on her plastic smile and faced the owner of the household, a rather dumpy woman who held a small dog in her lap. The dog barked at Yumi.

"I'm frightfully sorry, Anne, but I've forgotten that I had another matter to attend to today. Thank you for the tea."

With that concise and polite excuse, Yumi left the manor, glad to be out of such pitiful surroundings.

_Really, these women and their made-up little roles.. They think their lives have such purpose.._

Yumi walked through South London, holding her parasol low enough and at such an angle so as to block her eyes from any person's sight, lest they recognize her. No, Yumi would rather walk alone, undisturbed, for as long as she could. She still felt lonely, in the midst of so many people, but it was at least better than staying cooped up in her chambers the whole day, being badgered by Sarah to go out and have fun.

Yumi smirked at this thought.

_Fun.._

. . .

As Yumi walked into the industrial section of London, she still held her parasol in place. This resulted in her bumping into a man.

"I'm terribly sorry. You have my humblest apologies, ma'am."

Yumi lifted her parasol higher so as to put the man in her line of vision. She wore a plastic smile, once again, as with everybody. She froze where she stood, numb.

The man she was looking up at had been the man from her dreams.

A shot rang through Yumi's ears; lightening coursed through her brain; the impulse that could not be suppressed. It was _him_.

She quickly composed herself again. She only nodded at the man, with her alluring, yet false, smile upon her face. She couldn't find words; her chest tightened. Yumi only nodded at him kindly and continued to walk on.

_Why? It's him, it's him! Turn back, you have to!_

Her mind and conscience screamed at her, screamed at her to return to the side of the man. Return to her savior.

But she knew that she couldn't approach now. Yumi believe that fate showed her those dreams for a reason. Fate led her to meet him today, to reassure her and give her hope. She could not linger, however. She knew that they would soon meet again. She knew in her heart that she would see him. He would save her from this damnation.

The man only watched her as he walked away. He did not hear the words that she smoothly whispered under her breath.

"Ulrich.. I love you."

**That is Chapter 3, peoples! :D Please, review! T0T I need feedback and I also need to know if I should even bother continuing this story! So, again:**

**PLEASE REVIEW! ~~~~~**


	4. Internal, Now External

Yumi was preparing for that night's ball. As Sarah helped her into her attire for the evening, the hope that Yumi had found from seeing Ulrich earlier had flooded out of her. Listlessness consumed her heart.

_Ever on and on I continue circling,  
With nothing but my hate in a carousel of agony.  
'Till slowly I forget, and my heart starts vanishing.  
And suddenly I see that I can't break free._

"Don't look so damp, plumb."

Yumi ignored her maid's comment and just stared emptily into the full-length mirror in front of her. She noticed nothing of her appearance anymore - all she saw was gray. Like the rest of her world.

_I'm slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity,  
With nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony  
To tell me who I am , who I was.  
Uncertainty enveloping my mind ,  
'Till I can't break free._

"Thank you, Sarah. You may go, now."

"Yes, my lady. I'll send for your carriage now. It should arrive in a few minutes."

Yumi continued to stare at herself blankly after she had left.

"I hate you."

_So I'm tired of all the pain , of the misery inside.  
And I wish that I could live feeling nothing but the night.  
You can tell me what to say; you can tell me where to go.  
But I doubt that I would care, and my heart would never know_.

. . .

As she was driven to the manor of tonight's master of ceremonies, Yumi watched the lights in the city's streets.

"What a foul place."

She tried to mentally prepare herself. For some reason, tonight was harder than the others. Why? So many nights like this, Yumi was able to kill her solid self and be reborn as the charming and bubbly woman who was always the center of attention at the larger social gatherings such as these. She usually did such a good job of this that her social status – as she was from one of the more influential families of London's upperclass – was not the only reason for this popularity.

'_Till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing.  
And suddenly I see that I can't break free._

As her coach came to a stop, Yumi hurriedly prepared herself for the next few hours. A calm and serene smile on her face, which was placed very well, considering the inner disgust welling inside of her stomach, she stepped out.

Yumi thanked the driver, and turned to face the open doors. She walked up the marble white steps, in through the doors. The attendants flanking either side of the entrance didn't so much as ask for her name or an invitation – thisproving as further evidence of her rank in the social world. Yumi had a strange feeling in her heart. But she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

She walked down a hallway that was full of people. So many patrons stared at her as she gracefully slid through them all. All of the men, and most of the women, parted to let her pass. She, accustomed to this, ignored the eyes that burned through every inch of her being. She walked to another large open door that led into a room that was full of chatter.

The second Yumi took one step over the threshold, she was immediately greeted by a man with dark hair and shining eyes. She had the queerest feeling about the man, but hadn't the faintest idea why.

The man took her hand. He bents down and kissed it. Now, Yumi was very used to such procedures, as almost every gentleman she encountered did the same act. But this time, she felt a spark shoot up her arm. Her plastic smile faltered for a moment, but she quickly replaced it with another before it could be noticed and misinterpreted.

"I am very pleased that you could make it here this evening, my lady."

The man had the softest voice. It was deep and soothing.

"Let me introduce myself. I am the host of tonight's events, William Dunbar. It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance."

_This is.. strange. He's different, he truly is. This man.._

Yumi did not let out even the slightest hint of her inner conflict. Oh, but how she could never know that this would soon turn into the largest external matter of her life..

"I am also very pleased to meet you, Lord William."

Yumi smiled a benevolent smile, which wasn't a complete facade. She didn't understand what could possibly be making her feel this way..

He led her into the center of the ballroom. Several inquisitive faces turned to observe them.

"May I be so gifted as to have the honor of being your dance partner for this evening, my dear Yumi?"

She placed her hand in his, as they began a slow waltz. Violins reverberated off the stone walls surrounding the large floor, covered with beautiful paintings.

"You may."

Yumi did not notice the flash that passed through William's eyes. She had no idea of the intense misfortune that those two words would bring her in the near future.

As they danced, William's eyes never left hers. Other partners began to dance as well, taking a large amount of attention off of them that was present a mere moment ago.

_Such idle minds._

This thought would usually have annoyed her greatly. But not tonight.

"May I pry a tad bit, my dear? I have noticed this from the few occasions in which we have happened to have been present at the same parties and whatnot. Judging by your solitary attitude at these events, I've realized that a lady such as yourself must be very selective. This has brought me to the conclusion that you do not have very many people close to you. I have also noticed that you are very.. ah.. _picky_ about your dance partners. I saw that you turned every one of them down."

Yumi grinned at this.

"You're nothing if you're just another."

On the inside, William was overflowed with a newfound excitement and glee. It seemed like it would be much easier after all. He had already begun to interest her.

_Now, if there should be no interruptions.._

"Then it seems like I will continue to impress you by rising above your expectations, my dear Yumi."


End file.
